References and Resources

Authoritative and seminal books that have influenced our views on sexual, marital and family relationships, especially in writing.

An introduction to anthropology, 5th Edition. Ralph L Beals and Harry Hoijer; Macmillan Publishing, 1977.

Cultural and social anthropology, TMH edition. E. Adamson Hoebel and Everett L. Frost.; Tata Mc-Graw-Hill, 1979.

These university text books helped us situate sociology and social work in the larger understanding of humanity as a species. We have situated our own Islamic worldview concerning the sexual phenomenon viz-a-viz anthropology’s big-picture narrative of human thought, behaviour and culture. It is one way to make sense of what Islam reveals regarding human carnality and spirituality.

Sexuality in Islam. Abdelwahab Bouhdiba; Rouledge and Kegan Paul, 1985 (English translation from French).

Born in 1932 Tunisia, the Professor wrote this thesis earning him a French state doctorate in 1975. It is a piercing analysis of the disparity between Islamic ideals and the Muslim reality pertaining to sexual conduct, peppered with his honest and courageous exposition of the sexual shenanigans behind closed doors in Arabo-Muslim societies. It was translated and published into English in 1985.

The image shows a later publication by another publisher Insan Kamil, also as translated in Malay

Fikih Sunnah. Sabiq, Sayid; translated to Malay by Mahyuddin Syaf, Al-Azhar, 1987.

Born in 1915 Egypt, this well-known Islamic teacher-activist wrote the book at the request of Hassan al-Banna, the founder of Muslim Brotherhood in the 1940s. It is a comprehensive encyclopedia of Islamic rulings from hygiene to politics and almost everything in between – including marriage, sex and hijab rulings. What is unique is his objective comparison of all the four mazhabs whenever they differ on any particular issue. Our full compilation is a Malay translated version, hence the spelling of the title. Unfortunately, we have not found a complete compilation in English to recommend, only abridged ones. The original Fiqhus Sunnah in Arabic is of course available for those who can.

The Hite Report – A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality. Shere Hite; Dell Publishing, 1981.

Born in 1942, this American-born German sex educator first published this report in 1976 after 3,500 anonymous responses regarding women’s sexual experiences. It contradicted popular notions of female sexual desire, preferences, stimulation, pleasure, orgasm, and such. But it was panned for its lack of methodical rigour resulting in sampling bias and hence questions over its representativeness. However, provided you guard yourself against generalisations, this report provides valuable insights into the inner thoughts of women regarding men and their assumptions about women in bed.

Human Sexual Response. William Master and Virginia Johnson; Little, Brown, 1966.

The most unique approach of this study was the observation of copulating couples under laboratory conditions with probes reading their vital physiological reactions. Critics questioned the normalcy of sexual reactions under lab conditions whereas proponents laud its empirical rigour. But despite its weaknesses, the study remains a formidable rock on which future studies are launched and earlier ones re-understood; not least for its human sexual response cycle model.

Seven Weeks to Better Sex. Domeena Renshaw; Random House, 1995.

The title can be off-putting for those who hate promises, especially on something as complex as sex. But excuse the title and you will find in this book a systematic explanation of the processes needed to identify, address and improve dysfunctional sexual relationships, in very simple non-technical language.

Dr Renshaw is someone who has seen plenty of cases over years of experience in sexual therapy for couples in Chicago, USA. For someone who was trained in and had practised medicine, at many junctures she cautioned authoritatively against medical solutions at the expense of addressing the root causes of sexual dysfunctions, which are usually relationship in nature.

She comes first – The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. Ian Kerner; Harper Collins Publishing, 2004.

He Comes Next – The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man. Ian Kerner; Regan Books, 2006.

These are best read in the order suggested by the titles. They are written by an accredited sex counsellor and psychotherapist in a language that reminds you of a cool professor – full of wisdom but easy on the ears.

Although his advocacy of cunnilingus is a tad too militant in the first book, the arguments for it are important lessons for men, nevertheless. Besides, it also covers other techniques for pleasuring. Most important is his thorough exposition of the female desire from her mind to her anatomy and the mechanics of her arousal.

In the second, beyond techniques and tactics, his case for the return of desire in men’s sexual vocabulary is inspirational. If not for his boyish looks, you might imagine listening to a wise old man bridging the gap of sexual perception between the two genders as you read these books.

Sensual Massage. Paul Scott;Ryland Peters and Small, 2006.

This work is not exactly seminal and there are plenty of these in the market too, even more sophisticated ones as far as techniques go. Yet, its simplicity of techniques is precisely what couples need if they are acquainting themselves with the idea of sensual pleasuring.

More importantly, the attitude that pervades this cute little book is the big message of unconditional giving, selfless loving, empathy and attention towards your lover – and how to do it. If you agree with our message in SEX, SOUL AND ISLAM, this massage book, would put you on the right path in turning belief into practice.

The following are trustworthy and reliable Muslim consultants we had crossed path with online who provide information and services regarding various aspects of sexual relationship.

Wael Ibrahim is the founder of The Aware Academy in Australia, which is a platform dedicated to helping those who are struggling with pornography addiction. 

In addition he also provides general marital counselling as well as those involving emotional, sexual intimacy, sexual dysfunction and pornography related issues.

You can reach Aware Academy for a pre-assessment consultation if you want to engage his counselling services. His Instagram postings regularly provide advice and information regarding pornography addiction.

Dr Shaakirah Abdullah fashioned herself as thehalalsexpert. And she is indeed an expert having obtained a PHD in Sex Education. Through her Love Beyond Love organisation, she provides one-to-one coaching pertaining to sex-related issues and addictions.

She actively provides advice, information, tips, ideas and such on sexual enrichment among married couples on Instagram. She is based in the Delaware, USA.

Sameera Qureshi is an occupational therapisst and a sexual health educator based in Virginia, USA. She provides courses and therapy for Muslims regarding sexual health specifically online.

She provides valuable information, advice, tips and ideas from an Islamic perspective on understanding, maintaining and enhancing our sexual well-being through her very regular Instagram posts.

Amirah Zaky was a science teacher whose own personal experience led her to specialise in coaching women overcome vaginismus, specifically; in addition to educating them generally towards painless sex through understanding their bodies and priorisiting sexual pleasure in marriage.

Today she runs her Amirah Zaky Wellness company of sex educators and vaginismus coaches. Her regular Instagram posts is a treasure trove of information regarding this condition that women and men alike could learn from. Amirah is based in UK.

In Singapore, although most Muslim-run social service organisations provide general counselling services, they are nevertheless ready and competent to handle sex-related issues, if specifically needed by clients.

Founded in 1952, PPIS (Persatuan Pemudi Islam Singapura or Singapore Muslim Women’s Association) is a non-profit organisation focused on services for women, family and children. WIth 17 centres islandwide, they are dedicated to working with women of all ages in carrying out their multiple roles in society.  

SYM Academy, an extension of PPIS, is a practice academy specialising in therapeutic family-related work for individuals and couples.  Aside from general counselling, their area of specialisation includes strengthening marriages and family relations, as well as mental health

Liyana Musfirah Network aspires to build a network of empowered women through their educational classes, events, products, consultancy, therapy and master-classes. As part of this mission, they provide counselling and therapy services to individuals, couples and families dealing with a variety of personal and relational issues including those invovling sexual matters.